? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
3 2 1 whiskey
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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