so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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