My sheets look like a crime scene.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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