I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
