if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
