Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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