Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
