I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
