He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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