Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize