brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
