I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
