Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
