using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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