you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
