i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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