saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
