the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
