the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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