farters have to be the big spoon...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
