hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
