Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
