Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize