dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
