So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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