the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
