Can Purell be used as lube?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
