If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
