My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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