you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
