Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
don't judge my taste in strippers
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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