The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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