addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize