She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
