He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I will pee on everything he values.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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