Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
