The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
