so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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