In the future we'll all be gay
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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