what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
