JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
