I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
