If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He did a backflip because drugs
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