just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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