Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
