Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The uberlube is also flammable
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
