your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
