and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
