Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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