i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And then he peed in my hair
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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