im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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