when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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