She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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