he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to make out with him forever
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
