so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize