I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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