Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
