I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
