Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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