Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
