I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
