:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
