she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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