i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
