? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
