on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
