i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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