i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
