Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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